I don’t think you guys will really want to hear from me right now. I’m in a bad mood. Really bad.
I spend a bunch of time in meetings. Some are useful, some are not. Most are benign. Some are not.
Today I experienced first hand a non-benign variety.
The ambush.
I’ve learned some hard lessons today:
1. Do not go to meetings where you think you know what is on the agenda without asking what is on the agenda. Period.
2. Always assume that people are talking about you behind your back. A healthy level of paranoia is… well…healthy. Be prepared.
3. Politics suck. Politics are unavoidable. But they still suck.
4. Most people are terrible at communication. It is an art form that very few people have mastered. Maybe I haven’t either.
5. Even if the facts are on your side don’t assume that means shit.
Sometimes I feel like I need a guide to navigate aspects of the professional mine field that I feel trapped in.
Sorry but that is all I have energy for.
Blue Lab Coats 
Number 1 for sure! I had that happen same as you, OMG getting blindsided suxxxxxxx. And after the ambush, ask for a record of the meeting if no one does a follow-up, or the meeting never happened! Write down everything you remember for your records at the very least.
Number 4. A fantastic colleague told me to make like I am a reporter if I don’t see anyone taking notes or taking the lead or if people are having their own conversations with themselves and talking the paint off the walls about shit no one is paying attention to. I tried the reporter thing once, and I think with practice, I can get the hang of it. The tactic is meant to keep drifters on point, keep things moving along, and prevent cliques from having ongoing side-convos.
Go sharpen your knives for next time. Hugs.
Sorry to hear it, doubledoc. Suckage.
Yikes – sounds bad….hope you scored a few points on the purveyor of suckitude.
Slightly adapted from Ibsen: “the strongest person in the world is who stands most alone”. After tenure, you dont have friends – you have colleagues, which leaves a lot unsaid. Always prepare for battle, have a strategy, and develop your tactics. You will not fall. Best wishes.
Thank you about all informations, and now i’m understand.