A word on interpersonal interactions.
If I ask and I am told that there is no problem, I will conclude that there is no problem. If there is indeed a problem, the person or persons with the problem should come to me and explain the problem. Once I am aware of the problem, we can (hopefully) work together to fix the problem. I am not a mind-reader and I will not spend time developing those skills.
If I ask if there is a problem, and I am told there is no problem, I will conclude there is no problem. If indeed there is a problem, and the person or persons with the problem refuse to say that there is a problem- we will be unable to fix the problem.
Choosing to respond to my non-acknowledgment of a problem that I was told was a non-problem by any of the following behaviours:
- Ambiguity and cryptic speech: a means of creating a feeling of insecurity in others or of disguising one’s own insecurities;
- Intentional inefficiency, e.g. being late or forgetting things, as a way to exert control or to punish;
- Convenient forgetfulness: to win any argument with a dishonest denial of actual events;
- Cold shoulder response: withdrawing into long silences to avoid either confronting or connecting with others.
- Victimization response: instead of recognizing one’s own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.
will earn the label passive aggressive. I have no desire to interact with individuals who intentionally try to harm or manipulate me in this way. Life is just too short.