Dear Persistent Administrative Assistant (in department I have no relationship with):
Sorry it took me (2 whole days) so long to answer your email. I looked at my calendar and am not able to meet with your faculty candidate on Monday afternoon as you requested in your first email, because I have a previously scheduled meeting. I am also not able to meet with your faculty candidate, whose CV I have now looked at and that has no cross-over with my work AT ALL, on Monday morning as requested in your second email- because that is when we have lab meeting. I do not know the candidate, I know nothing about your search, I am not affiliated with your department and I have no idea why you are asking me to meet with this person. So, I guess that answers your third email – I have no time on my schedule on Tuesday to meet with this candidate.
My apologies for being cranky, I’ll have to learn to be more direct so we don’t get three emails in next time.